Substance Abuse Counselor

Of the many articles written under the banner - The Myth of Self Esteem -there does not appear to be a single one that actually argues in fact, that self esteem does not exist, that it is a myth.

The articles would appear to be trying to say something about self esteem – what it is, what it is not, but no author has yet accomplished any type of review that knocks self esteem on the head, condemning it as a myth.

Self esteem can be defined in very many ways. Possibly everyone who tries to define it will have their own unique way of expressing what the concept means to them. It is easy to play with words, miss the wood for the trees, and declare self esteem to be myth.

People might use words like  “contentment”, “confidence” and “feeling positive” to convey to others the “feeling” of what self esteem means to them. These are all aspects of what it means to have self esteem – to have feelings of positive regard when thinking about that person that we think of as being “me”.

When it comes to the issue of substance abuse – it is not possible to have, at the same time, a desire to administer a potentially toxic substance to yourself, and to also have positive self esteem. It is similarly not consistent with having positive regard for yourself, that you would deliberately prevent yourself from taking in the nurture and support that you need, from your environment. People who engage with, in a negative or positive way, activities that are self harming, are to some extent lacking in self esteem.

People confuse having a sense of entitlement with narcissistic desire – when having a sense of entitlement means only that each one of us has the right, to live our life in peace, given that we are, at the same time, paying due respect to that entitlement in other people.

Each one of us knows when we have good self esteem, we don’t feel in need of anything more from anyone else, to support our mood of optimism, nor do we feel depleted by negativity in our environment. We are in equilibrium – not needy for any particular thing, not needing to assert ourselves, or to make demands of others.

Having good self esteem does not imply that we think we are perfect – however, we are accepting of ourselves as we are in the moment.

People with problems of substance abuse take themselves to a substance abuse counselor, for advice and help. Some people might say to their counselor that they feel a lack of self esteem – that they want some help with that.

Probably the reason why some authors think that self esteem is a myth, is that you can’t order it in by mail, can’t sprinkle it out of a bottle, apply it like a lotion, and immediately “feel better”.

When people use various methods and techniques for the specific purpose of creating self esteem, such methods are virtually doomed to fail.

Methods and courses that enhance self esteem in fact consist of projects, that taken together by the student start to become more than the sum of the parts. This known as synergy

Improved health means improved alertness, and an ability to see better solutions to old problems. Better digestion and nutrition means less nervous strain and irritability – more capacity relax that in turn promotes increased health.

Also we need to learn how to deal with and neutralize the pressures that society and families often bring to bear on people. People with anxiety, depression, who are into substance abuse feel drained of energy and suffer low self esteem because they haven’t got the experience, the skill to effectively stand up for themselves, in many social situations.

Self esteem is not about winning but about being comfortable with yourself regardless of social outcomes. Having a good sense of self esteem means that you don’t ever need to cause harm to others, or to yourself in futile attempts to gain self respect in inappropriate ways.

Having self esteem is a feeling of empowerment and potential, a place of equilibrium, from which genuine choices can be made, without obsession, compulsion or greed.

Self esteem is no myth – it is the cornerstone of a contented, healthy productive life – and living a healthy, productive life is the best thing ever to help maintain a strong sense of self esteem.

We are all born with a healthy dose of self love, or infantile narcissism – it can take a battering during our formative years, leading to substance abuse.

Regaining self esteem using comprehensive programs is like regaining the optimism and trust of a child, with the maturity and wisdom of an adult.

see article:

Graduates of comprehensive programs for substance abuse recovery

regain their self esteem,

have a new willingness to venture out – and take their place in the world.